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Poetic Bathroom Graffiti

bathroom grafitti # 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

bathroom graffiti # 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here I sit
What a caper
I have to shit
But I'm out of paper

bathroom graffiti # 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

bathroom graffiti # 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

bathroom graffiti # 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

bathroom graffiti # 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

bathroom graffiti # 7
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people come here to take a shit, I come here
to leave one.

bathroom graffiti # 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Fire Department want's you.

bathroom graffiti # 9
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(written high upon the wall above a urinal)
Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.

bathroom graffiti # 10
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sign posted in a bathroom:
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please!

bathroom graffiti # 11
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(written above a urinal)
Why are you looking up here?
Are you ashamed of it?

bathroom graffiti # 12
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seen above a urinal:
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our
urinal. We don't piss in your ashtrays!

bathroom graffiti # 13
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing
machine were these words:
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

bathroom graffiti # 14
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout
the entire performance.

bathroom graffiti # 15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Rs.100-All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing
down into the toilet)

bathroom graffiti # 16
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sign I saw at a swimming pool once:
We don't swim in your toilet, so please
don't pee in our pool!

bathroom graffiti # 17
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.

bathroom graffiti # 18
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit
on the ceiling.

bathroom graffiti # 19
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash
Hands,"
someone scribbled:
I waited and waited, but I finally washed
them myself.

bathroom graffiti # 20
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant:
It takes the human body about 24 hours to
turn good food
into shit. It only takes Burger King 10
minutes.

bathroom graffiti # 21
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make
your food...please aim properly.

bathroom graffiti # 22
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to shit out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away.

bathroom graffiti # 23
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's one seen above a urinal:
look up look up
[even higher on the wall]
keep looking up
[on the ceiling]
Quick! Look down!
You're pissing on your shoes!

bathroom graffiti # 24
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the funniest I've seen was also the simplest:
Fart loud if you love Jesus!

bathroom graffiti # 25
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While your sitting on the toilet you see written on
the stall door:
Congratulations! You've won one free game
of Toilet Tennis!
Look Left.

 

 
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